Jesus Doesn’t Want a Brokey at His Birthday Celebration

If you don’t have at least $12,000 saved, you need to sit this holiday spending season out.

Before you try to curse me out or ask what I have saved, let’s be real: “Idc and nothing.”

I’m right here with you. A fellow overspender.

But this right here? This is exactly why we need to talk. Because somehow, we started treating spending money we don’t have like it’s a personality trait. And the truth is: overspending is not self-care. It’s self-neglect with a gift receipt attached.

We joke about how our mamas made Christmas happen out of absolutely nothing. The memories of her on the couch watching us open gifts with that look - you know the one, the silent “I did that.” And that, she did. But at what cost? By any means necessary? If she didn’t have the means, and half the gifts weren’t necessary, what were we really inheriting? A tradition of pouring from an empty wallet, calling it love, and then paying for it until February.

That’s not care. That’s survival dressed up in wrapping paper.

Every few months, someone online brings up Black spending power and folks start fantasizing about “if we all pooled our money…”

Baby, what money?

I’m not going to pretend we’re broke-broke, many of us have income, but a “decent” one-bedroom costs rent that sounds like a luxury car note. If you don’t have $12K tucked just to keep your roof secure in an emergency, you’re not in a good position.

Knowing this is self-awareness. Acting on it is self-care.

Yes, racism and systemic injustices widen the wealth gap, but we still have more control than we admit. We’ve seen what sacrifice looks like. We’ve lived it. But sacrifice without intention? That’s stress. That’s depletion. That’s self-abandonment.

And let’s be real: is it even a sacrifice if the only ones benefiting are corporations that do not care if you starve? These companies don’t care about Black people (in my best Kanye voice). They care about their bottom line. They mail us credit card offers like love letters, especially during the holidays, and we respond by overspending in December, which is still being paid off in February, like Cupid is a bill collector.

Your money is hard-earned. Treating it with respect is a form of self-care. Handing it to billionaires who were dashing to cancel DEI and lay off workers? That’s self-harm with sparkles.

Consumerism has been a way to reclaim dignity, prove we “made it,” and feel like we belong in spaces we were never meant to enter. Still, it’s also tricked us into believing the right purchase can fill the emotional gaps that rest, community, boundaries, and healing are actually meant to hold. We are so much more than whatever we buy to wear, text on, or drive.

Parents, I know you want to give your kids the world. Bo luhdakids too. Giving them everything is not love. Modeling balance, joy, and peace is. Sometimes the most loving gift is showing them what it looks like to live within your limits.

And the things we actually need cost nothing: laughter, joy, family, love, peace. That’s the real self-care right there. Isn’t that what Christmas is supposed to be about?

I don’t think Jesus is checking for the new iPhone. I believe the Big Homie would prefer you show up with peace of mind and maybe a good sweet potato pie. But what do I know? I’m just an overspending brokey trying to do better.

So am I saying cancel Christmas? Yes… and no.

Keep Christ.
Cancel mas shopping.
Because protecting your peace , financially, emotionally, and spiritually, is the kind of self-care you won’t return.